Testimony-Victoria

                      My Testimony

My salvation has been an ongoing process since I was twelve years old. The Lord has been so patient with me throughout my whole life. I am eternally grateful to the Lord for His love, patience and grace towards me.

When I was twelve years old.I felt that I wanted be saved. Nothing really changed because I wasn’t ready to truly give every bit of me and only do God’s will, and frankly I didn’t have any maturity yet. Life rolled on just about the same as before.
As I got older some things came to light about past things I had done and I became extremely afraid, all I could think about was what I had done and what my parents were thinking of me(this would have been when I was 16-17, about the time we were in North Dakota). This fear bled over into every part of my life and I had a very hard time even functioning.

After we came back from North Dakota fear still had control of me and I was suffering in all areas of my life. It came to a head where my dad told me that I had to choose what I was going to do. I dedicated my life to him again but as before I still wasn’t ready to give all of myself to the Lord because that would mean giving up my control and I just wasn’t ready for that. I was more afraid than anything else and wanted to make the choice that would please my parents
I depended very heavily on what others thought and that dependence made me feel like I was “alright” if everyone was happy with me and anything negative that was said about me made me extremely upset. I would feel if someone was not pleased with me then they thought I was just a “horrible person” when in reality that was not the case at all, and because of that my relationship with my mom and my brothers and sisters suffered. Many arguments with my brothers and sisters erupted over silly things when I should have been the big sister who helped them solve the issue in a mature way.

Another reason my Christian walk has suffered is because I have wrestled quite a bit with doing the things that God asked me to do physically and spiritually which has led me to make mistakes that otherwise would not have happened. Many of those negative things already mentioned were still with me because I was unable to fully give all of myself to the Lord.  I had negative attitudes that bled over into my younger siblings lives that was harmful to there spiritual welfare. I lacked the motivation to do things and always found some reason why I maybe shouldn’t do whatever God was asking. I have tried to drown the negatives in other things to make them go away or forget about them, and I want to testify that it does not work because while it might work at the time, afterwards all of the pain, negativity or fear is still right there. Sometimes even when I was doing those things I was still thinking about all the negative things too.

For a very long time fear has held me back, and I got to a point recently where God asked me to follow Him completely or not to follow Him at all, but I could not stay where I was.I had been baptized already so I had made the public proclamation that I wanted to follow the Lord. I needed to live up to the promise I had made to the Lord. I got on my knees and told the Lord that I wanted to follow Him fully and do whatever He wanted me to do.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2

I have had much peace since I have done that. The things the Lord has shown me through my parents and my brothers and sisters I have been implementing in my life, and it has helped me immensely. The stress in my life has decreased by at least 75% and I see things in a better more mature way.

A personal relationship with the Lord is the key to a successful walk. I have realized that just saying a prayer and being saved isn’t enough. Making the conscious decision everyday to follow Him is very important.

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. Luke 9:23
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I have felt how easy it is to everyday do the things that God sets before me and leave the rest up to God.

Matthew 11:30
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The biggest thing that God has taught me is, not to worry about anything but what He tells me to do and leave all the other things to Him.

Matthew 6:34
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

My Testimony-Robert

Hebrews 12:1
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

My race started when I was 12 years old, I was very excited to begin the race set before me and I began reading through the bible chronologically in a year. But as with all races I began to slow down and lost interest in completing my reading, I hit a period where I was going to church on Sunday and taking notes on the sermon but when Monday hit then God would be set aside.

When I was 13 our the Lord called our family to North Dakota, away from all friends and family to spend some time with him. That was hard for me because the Lord asked me to choose to continue to run the race or to stop and walk away.
Revelation 3:16
So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

But the answer did not come easy, I rebelled against the question because why could I not worship God on Sundays and that be enough? I had already excepted salvation so I was “good” with God. Or was I?

I tried to run from the question and ignore it but it did not go away. Jesus kept asking “choose you this day whom you will serve”. and one day I could not take it any longer. By the testimony of a man named Keith Green and a song the Lord gave him named “Your love broke through”, the message of the song was of a man trying to do things in his own power but they kept failing, until the love of God broke through. That same love brought me to my knees and broke me.

I was tired of running and avoiding the question, the answer had to be given. My answer was simple, “I surrender”, that was it, at the age of 15 I opened my heart to God and Jesus lifted me up and filled me with his light. The burden of life no longer existed, I felt free and happy in the presence of God. But the battle did not end there, I started to run the race again but this time the Lord had been working in the lives of my parents as well and the Lord used them to encourage me to keep going when I got tired. So I dug into God’s word and over the course of the next 3 years I read through the bible 3 times, and I am on my 4th. But I didn’t just read the Bible like a regular book, I claimed the promise of God and prayed that the Holy Spirit would teach me the truth.

1 John 2:27

But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

That is just the beginning of my race!

After surrendering to God he asked me what I wanted to do for him and my answer was this “Please allow me to praise you with music and voice” and Jesus answered and said “are you willing to put the work in?” and I said “Yes”. That was the beginning of an amazing journey I am still on.

It all started when in North Dakota we went to a Goodwill and found a Yamaha keyboard, originally for my older Sister but she did not end up playing it. I was interested and did one lesson from the book that taught me how to play “O when the saints”. Then in the blink of an eye the Lord called us down to take care of my Grandpa on dad’s side. He was suffering with lung cancer and needed us, so we dropped everything and went and helped him. That time was amazing! we were able to fill his life with the light of Christ and show him God’s love. After living there with him a short time he ended up needing to be hospitalized so my Dad and I went to the hospital every day and I sat by his bed and held his hand. He was barely conscious most of the time, but we were still praying because he had not excepted the atonement of Jesus yet. Then one day as I sat by his bed holding his hand he opened his eyes and gripping my hand said “Son, let’s take one last walk together” which was strange to me because we never took walks together. So I said “Ok Grandpa, where do you want to go?” he replied “here is fine” then I asked him “Grandpa, Do you want to go to heaven when you die?” he said “Of course son!” and so I said ” Grandpa, I have a sure fire way for you to get there, you must repent of your sins and except his salvation. Do you want that?” and he answered “Yes” so I led him in the sinners prayer! and after that my Grandpa never regained consciousness but he was so peaceful I knew he was in Jesus arms. He went home to heaven a couple weeks after that.

That time was very difficult for me, to watch my Grandpa slowly slip away took all the strength I had and I needed something to strengthen me. But God is good and he had provided a piano in my grandpa’s house where we stayed and so I sat down and Jesus put his hands over mine and said “Play!” so I did and with just the 1 lesson I had studied I started to play and sing Hymns to him. I filled my soul with the praise of God and he strengthened me!

The Lord then moved us down to Ohio again and I continued to grow in the praise of him, It has taken 3-4 hours per day over the last 3 years of hard study to be where the Lord wants me to be and I still continue to grow. He has allowed me to praise him with the Piano, Guitar, Harmonica and Voice, I never take it for granted and in every breath that I take I Praise God!
Psalm 104:33
I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.

Robert Crawford

Why We Sing

In the Word a new believer is left with an initial impression of gratitude. There is a wonderment of joy and the realization one is no longer bound to that dead life they left behind. As one grows in the Lord and attempts to mature and gain wisdom that wonderment fades. Often replaced by a growing emptiness they turn to the gathering of study or endless activities to fill it. Sometimes there is a full retreat from all of that and a desire to recapture that first love that is so important.

 

This is where we found ourselves in 2011. Our home life was suffering from a prolonged job situation that had disrupted the headship structure God desires with long hours and days of time away from home. Our personal relationship with Jesus was absent the power of the Holy Spirit. We were in need of a change that we correct our course.

 

We ended up 1200 miles away in an unknown area full of strangers to purchase previous life. The job situation was tough in that it was dramatically different but I was home every night. Our personal lives were challenged by many new experiences. We started to adjust and slide back into the same rut we always seemed to find. Life got more comfortable and the desire slipped farther out of reach. Then a series of events changed our family course.

 

A house fire is not something I would wish on anyone. In our case it wasn’t as devastating as some but traumatic none the less. Through this event some relationships were exposed. I was brought to remembrance what I had said in front of God of what I would do if given the chance to be home and we faced a decision. Our choice was get our family together each night and learn about God through His Word by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

As we started gathering as a family and exploring God’s Word we got an immediate teaching from the Spirit regarding God’s viewpoint on one’s allegiance to Him. Through this teaching we walked away from some man made traditions with supposed Christian connection. In the spring of 2012 we were challenged again by the Spirit to read through the Word in ninety days. We were able to accept and also started using a chronological reading plan at the same time.

 

In this state we were really tender and open to God’s Will. We began to look around us with different eyes. We watched a documentary on someone who used God’s teaching of Psalms, Hymns and Spiritual Songs to reach out to other believers. We began to look into why and how God said to Praise Him. We started encorporating the fundamental basis of the feasts and there current relevancy into our lives. More importantly we renounced the pagan based worldly feast days that are not of God.

 

After a few more events over the next year and a half to include the premature birth of our tenth child and the death of one of our parents we were ready for the next chapter. We packed everything up and moved back to Ohio. The Lord began to bring back past musical experiences and singing the scripture became a focus. We found a common Spiritual thread running through our Worship and it was the Praise of God through song.