Reeling a Little ;)

We have been learning the “art” of playing a song in front of a camera. It’s been a fun experience because playing in a natural way as a group seems so easy until you want to look like you feel! lol!

It’s also funny that the process of looking natural, and also changing the point of view as a person might glance from player to player, is also an interestingly layered process. To take a quick glance around the room with the camera means multiple recordings and many minutes of footage,and hours of editing. The irony makes me smile.

This weekend we did video recording of “Miss McClouds”. It’s a fun reel that almost all of us can play together. Doing a video and even just an audio recording is like icing on the cake after the weeks or months we spend working on a piece.

I really love how the Lord has taught each of us to “hear” what we would like to play in the song, and interesting variations always pop up. When I was learning violin in school, I had to have the sheet music to play anything. I never deviated. Learning to “pick up and play” was a valuable lesson the Lord taught me through the boys (guitar, banjo, piano sessions here are almost always pick up sessions, on the spur, refreshingly spontaneous). There is a definite need for sheet music, (as you can see I have mine as a foundation in the photo). And our home-school music revolves around sheet music, via etudes, exercises, and the melody or chord foundation of any piece we want to play.

Playing together has helped us hear the little changes and opportunities for accents with the ear,and deepened the experience. I’m finding there are so many little accents and variations, that it would be hard to write them all down. The natural easy way they emerge from each player is a gift from the Lord. Music belongs to God after all,and it’s been a deep joy to learn from Him . He IS the Beauty that truly makes an instrument sing. If you’d like to see the reel we worked on this past weekend, it’s available on our slider on the Zawmar home page!

What fun project are you and your family doing right now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Testimony-Victoria

                      My Testimony

My salvation has been an ongoing process since I was twelve years old. The Lord has been so patient with me throughout my whole life. I am eternally grateful to the Lord for His love, patience and grace towards me.

When I was twelve years old.I felt that I wanted be saved. Nothing really changed because I wasn’t ready to truly give every bit of me and only do God’s will, and frankly I didn’t have any maturity yet. Life rolled on just about the same as before.
As I got older some things came to light about past things I had done and I became extremely afraid, all I could think about was what I had done and what my parents were thinking of me(this would have been when I was 16-17, about the time we were in North Dakota). This fear bled over into every part of my life and I had a very hard time even functioning.

After we came back from North Dakota fear still had control of me and I was suffering in all areas of my life. It came to a head where my dad told me that I had to choose what I was going to do. I dedicated my life to him again but as before I still wasn’t ready to give all of myself to the Lord because that would mean giving up my control and I just wasn’t ready for that. I was more afraid than anything else and wanted to make the choice that would please my parents
I depended very heavily on what others thought and that dependence made me feel like I was “alright” if everyone was happy with me and anything negative that was said about me made me extremely upset. I would feel if someone was not pleased with me then they thought I was just a “horrible person” when in reality that was not the case at all, and because of that my relationship with my mom and my brothers and sisters suffered. Many arguments with my brothers and sisters erupted over silly things when I should have been the big sister who helped them solve the issue in a mature way.

Another reason my Christian walk has suffered is because I have wrestled quite a bit with doing the things that God asked me to do physically and spiritually which has led me to make mistakes that otherwise would not have happened. Many of those negative things already mentioned were still with me because I was unable to fully give all of myself to the Lord.  I had negative attitudes that bled over into my younger siblings lives that was harmful to there spiritual welfare. I lacked the motivation to do things and always found some reason why I maybe shouldn’t do whatever God was asking. I have tried to drown the negatives in other things to make them go away or forget about them, and I want to testify that it does not work because while it might work at the time, afterwards all of the pain, negativity or fear is still right there. Sometimes even when I was doing those things I was still thinking about all the negative things too.

For a very long time fear has held me back, and I got to a point recently where God asked me to follow Him completely or not to follow Him at all, but I could not stay where I was.I had been baptized already so I had made the public proclamation that I wanted to follow the Lord. I needed to live up to the promise I had made to the Lord. I got on my knees and told the Lord that I wanted to follow Him fully and do whatever He wanted me to do.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2

I have had much peace since I have done that. The things the Lord has shown me through my parents and my brothers and sisters I have been implementing in my life, and it has helped me immensely. The stress in my life has decreased by at least 75% and I see things in a better more mature way.

A personal relationship with the Lord is the key to a successful walk. I have realized that just saying a prayer and being saved isn’t enough. Making the conscious decision everyday to follow Him is very important.

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. Luke 9:23
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I have felt how easy it is to everyday do the things that God sets before me and leave the rest up to God.

Matthew 11:30
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The biggest thing that God has taught me is, not to worry about anything but what He tells me to do and leave all the other things to Him.

Matthew 6:34
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Testimony-Rob

This is the testimony of how I, Rob Crawford, came to know Jesus Christ and accept His Atonement for my sinful life.

As a young child, of less than six years of age, I had developed an enhanced perception of death. I can remember laying in on my bed and contemplating what would happen after someone stopped living. I would also think about how I would feel if others I knew would die. I grew up in a middle class, middle American house with little to no religious activity. My family would have identified as Christian but there was no relationship and no obedience to His Word.

At the age of eight I had an experience in my life where my heart stopped, my breathing wouldn’t work and I knew I was dying. There seemed to be an eternity of time while my mind worked through all the scenarios that I had envisioned and I was scared. This all happened in a short period of time with only me present and then like a flash I was back to where I had been. I did not realize at the time how deep the fear had planted itself into who I was.

I finished my education and spent my time living carefully in fear of dying. By the time I was a teenager I would go through long periods of melancholy as I ruminated on what death would mean to me depending on who it happened to. I had some plans for the future but mostly I just wanted to move on and start living.

At eighteen I joined the military for education benefits and then left my home for training. During this time I got exposed to some of the “Christians” my family had always talked about. I was witnessed to by a young man from Kentucky who I was able to successfully best among my peers. In my youth the Swaggarts and Bakkers of the church filled my family with a sense of hatred to the hypocrisy of the “church”. My dad had grown up poor and was always willing to give. They watched these people take money from others then live ungodly lives. All of this was my weapon as I attacked this person and solidified my smug feeling of victory.

My turning point came less than a year later when I was informed that my unit would be going to war. I had been trained that the average life expectancy for my position was less than five minutes in a pitched battle. As the day to leave neared I struggled to come to grips with my new reality. The death that I thought about and had no answer for was really close. I went through the motions of preparing but was never far from real despair. The day we left the states I was in a gymnasium filled a lot of others most likely facing the same issues and was handed a Gideon’s Bible.

Once in country and out in the field with my unit, I began to read that Bible and in the end I made the promise at the end of the book. Unfortunately I had no idea what I was making a promise to do. A few months later I got a complete Bible and again began to read. When I got far enough into the Old Testament I had a breakthrough that allowed me a reprieve in my fear of death. I even was somewhat cavalier and started to discomfit my fellow soldiers. I felt like if all this was going to be judged on scales, I had way more on the good side than on the bad.

The war ended, I went back to living and the Bible became a talisman that I held onto. I was really no closer to an answer and death still stalked me from the shadows. I started to search out other religious activities and desiring a deeper understanding of myself. This desire more than anything else became the ground work for what has transpired since that time.

I reenlisted, changed my job, moved to a new military base and continued my search. I began to strip away parts of who I was and start to think more about who I wanted to be. Even though death was now farther away I did still end up with those dark periods of contemplation that started when I was very young.

It was in this state that I met my wife and we started our life together. We left the military and ended up back in my home state. We were challenged with the need to be baptized and the Lord provided a miraculous way for us to be baptized together. In this state God challenged me and I shed my past like and dislikes. I realized that He was all I needed and that my understanding of myself had just begun.

A couple of key points to this process that I did not quite get until many years later.

  • I spent a week of time each summer, from around 8-14, at a Vacation Bible School near our home. These people would come and get us. The really, really cool part is that I have a confession in my own hand that I would follow Jesus from the last time I attended.
  • I was protected by God from myself. This may seem like a silly statement, but I spent a lot of time mad that I couldn’t have a life like everyone else. I thank God everyday that I do not carry the scars that I thought I just had to have.
  • I was raised with a strong sense of morality. As related to the point above, my parents seemed to be way more strict on me and as such my moral compass was always pointed in the correct general direction.

So who is Jesus to me and why did I need His atonement? Jesus to me is someone who knows me. He knows everything that I did, did not and desired to do. Yet with all of that knowledge He chose to give me an opportunity to know Him. I have had a few true friendships in my life but they all had weaknesses. I could keep some information back and protect myself. When I started my friendship with Jesus I knew everything was on the table and that made me complete for the first time. I needed His blood atonement because that is what allowed our relationship to begin.

As for my nemesis, death, we still sparred from time to time. The battles were shorter and less fierce as time went on. Finally after about twenty years I got back into contact with the young man from Kentucky. I was able to share my testimony and then receive an encouragement from him. In his own life he had recently faced death and had attained victory by acknowledging he wasn’t in control of the outcome. I was able to step into that same truth and shut out the evil one and his hold on my life.

 

My Testimony-Christine

by Christine

The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust;my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower!” psalm 18:2

I am 41 years old. I gave my life to Jesus my Lord at the age of 11. My story, my journey with Jesus is very precious to me, and the writing of it has many details. I want to share some of them with you. I believe we need to share our stories with you, and you with us, because we can greatly encourage each other.  God is all encompassing, and awesome!

I was born into a rather difficult situation. My young parents fought violently. My father was in the Airforce, and had met my mother in Wyoming. My mother was mentally disabled, and they both had an explosive temper. They tried to make things work, but in the end, when I was almost a year old, my father took me to live with his parents. I had suffered from my parent’s anger-I was traumatized: terrified of water, and even at 11 months,I didn’t move much in my crib, I would just lay there and stare.

” And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live;yea I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live. I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments…” Ezekiel 16:6,7

My Grandmom had just accepted Jesus as Savior, at the age of 45. When my father had called her, she told me she heard the voice of the Lord telling her to take me, it was what He wanted. My Grandfather told me years later, that my father had said if they didn’t want me, he would give me up for adoption. My Grandfather said, “no member of my family is going to be adopted out.” And he took me, and then my little brother a year later. And forever all our lives were changed. They showered me with attention and love, and in just a few months, I was rolling, crawling, and trying to stand.

“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” Psalm 27:10.

I really didn’t understand the safe little nest my Lord had tucked me into as I grew up, but today I praise Him for it. My Grandparent’s home was quiet. My Grandmother would read Bible stories from the Bible, and from a beautifully illustrated Bible Story book. It was the perfect place to get to know my Savior. And He was so patient with me. I couldn’t explain why at the time, but I was full of unrest, and anger as a child. I tried to hide it but I know I was a difficult child,moody and selfish. My Grandparents were patient. They told me they loved me, and told me to call them Dad and Mom so at school I would sound like the other children when I talked about family. Dad loved computers, and worked as an electrical engineer for a well known science and electronics based company.  He wasn’t an outwardly affectionate person, but he did little things to make me feel loved. One memorable thing was he would ask me to turn on the bedroom computer(his bedroom doubled as an office because he had to work with classified material for work often), and as it booted up the prompt would read “Hi Christy”. That would usually coax a smile from my usually somber countenance.

My Dad and Mom were also very diligent-every evening they would sit at the dinner table with us, and Dad would talk to us about right and wrong. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but looking back, he was shaping my morals and values at a very crucial time for children. He would tell me, “Everyone you meet, and interact with-they want to write on  your character. Its like a sheet of paper, and everyone wants to write what they think on it[through influence, interaction and persuasion]. Be careful who you let write on your character list, because what’s written there will influence what choices you make in life.” He also often said with a smile, “At your age, your peers are talking in your ear alot. I’m going to talk louder in your ear than your peers!”

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

And Dad did. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just go and do what other children did-movies, parties,games,etc. though on a few occasions I did, if Mom could talk to the family, and felt good about them. Dad kept saying it was more dangerous to be in strange and unfamiliar places than in his day. He stressed that during these formative years, school, and a quiet, stable home were the most important. He said the fun I thought I should have as a child-those things would not have a large impact on my much longer life as an adult. Later God would add to that thought process. Dad said, the good things I built as a child-self discipline, study, quiet, responsible living- those things would indeed greatly add to my success as an adult. And he was right.

While Dad ministered to my intellect, and morals, Mom nurtured my spirit and my soul. I have fond memories of sitting on the couch with her as she read from a beautifully illustrated Bible story book and introduced us to Jesus. She sang to Him as she did dishes. She talked to us about Him like she knew Him, because she did. Reading the Bible was so important to her-she spent time with Jesus every day. Her Bible was a rainbow of underlined treasures I loved to look at. Jesus was powerful and kind. Gentle but firm in what He wanted us to do. I really could feel Him in her life. She lived Him. She was kind, and quiet when Dad would be upset about work, or at her. He wasn’t saved, so her faith made him angry.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

There were many times I was afraid at night. Mom would tell me to pray to Jesus, and claim His Shed Blood. Satan would have to flee! She was right, and those moments where I called on the Lord made me feel closer to Him. I still had all the usual childish tendencies of disobedience, but Jesus was patient. He kept showing me He was there, real, present. He was faithful to me because of who He is.

Jesus made such an impact on me that I took my Bible story book to recess in second grade, and tried to share Him with a dear friend of mine who was Jewish. This made her mom very upset, and told my friend to never talk to me about Jesus again. Later in life I would understand all the misconceptions Jews have about Christians, and Christians have about Jews. God’s people are kept apart by hate, but we serve the same Lord, have the same Messiah. It was a tender, and special first experience witnessing though!

Mom took us to church, and one day I watched her declare her love for Christ, reciting John 15. Then, in a long robe, she went down into the water at a little church, and was baptized. I was mesmerized. When could I do this for Jesus? I asked her. She replied,”God will tell you when it’s time for you. Just listen to Him.

 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” John 15:5

Dad’s normally serious, intense, and logical mind occasionally gave way to a softer side. One day he came to me when I was 9. “I love the violin. I’ve tried to get my daughters to play it, and they wouldn’t. Would you be willing to give it a try for me?” I said sure! I didn’t understand how important it was to him at the time, it just seemed like something I had to do. I remember how he took me to the little violin shop, and bought me my first violin. I had no idea what I was holding either. He paid $400 for it 30 years ago!

I had no idea how important this small event was going to be in God’s plan for me!

Learning violin is no easy task. I would work and work at it. I would hear Dad’s footsteps outside my bedroom door and he would pause. “Squeak squawk! Keep practicing!” He would smile and say. I selfishly thought he was teasing me! But later in life, after he was gone, it hit me. My bedroom was near the end of the hall, the opposite direction from the stairs, and anything he would normally walk to. He was coming to hear me specifically because he cared so much.

One day, and I remember it was my 3rd year playing, he walked by and said, “Hey, no more squeaks! Good job!” I was working through a difficult passage, and that made me feel like I was on a cloud! He didn’t give compliments lightly, I knew he meant it!

I hit a wall at around year 4. I was being teased by a girl on the bus because of my violin. She would say “what do you have in there, a machine gun??”. That was so dumb, but young children are tender and impressionable. It made me feel embarrassed. I didn’t have any other friends who played violin in any of my classes, so I was also feeling isolated. I had an aunt who was a professional cellist, and though I asked, she wouldn’t play with me. So violin became a negative force in my life. My teacher kept encouraging me though, and I even made first chair in the orchestra. I must have been pretty good but my insecurities were clouding my vision. He had encouraged me to also avoid a shoulder rest, and I hid from him the fact that I had trouble with the violin slipping, and I secretly gripped the neck during difficult pieces. When he began to introduce positions and vibrato, both of which meant I had to release my grip on that neck,that was when I’d had it. I backed away. I knew I’d fail. I had to quit. Dad said to keep with it till year 5, and at year 5 I quit. How foolish. But children are foolish and don’t appreciate the important things. That’s ok. God never forgets.

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD. I will turn away your captivity…” Jeremiah 29:13

Let me backtrack a bit. I was what we call an “admirer of the Light” as a youth. I loved and respected what God did in my Mom’s life, but I hadn’t surrendered my heart to Him fully. I didn’t connect God’s will with my own desires,I was captive to my desires. I was still a liar, I was a thief, stealing coins from Dad and Mom to go buy candy at the local convenience store. It was so dumb, because I was hurting people who loved me, and I was so empty inside.

One evening, when I was 11, I stewed over the fact that I had to clean all the Thanksgiving dishes. I was feeling so sorry for myself. I looked at the clock, and it happened to be time for Unshackled to come on the christian radio station. I loved Unshackled because of how hurting people found Jesus, and peace, and order to their lives. It was so interesting. It was definitely diverting when I had a mountain of dishes to do!

So I turned on the radio. A man began to unfold the events of his life. He was selfish and impulsive, I remember. He got to the end of himself, to his lowest point. And he realized he was at a crossroads. He needed God, or he was going to die. God spoke to me as I listened to the man’s story,”what about you? You can’t keep living like you love me, and disobey me at the same time. You are at a crossroads. You can keep being miserable and ugly inside, or you can choose to come to Me.”

A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.” Matthew 7:18,19

I left the dishes, ran up to my room, and shut the door. In the dark, I knelt by my bed, and the foot of the cross. I surrendered my heart and life to Jesus. Mom had struggled with my bad attitude for years. When I told her I’d given my heart to the Lord she said,”I want to believe you. It’s going to take time for me to see you’ve changed.” And from that hour I made it my goal to show her. I became hungry for the scripture-every story in the New Testament I devoured with interest and earnest. I really wanted to understand, to change. And God blessed. Mom was right though-salvation is a walk that takes time. It took time for me to make more and more choices for the Lord, and less for me. The seed was planted though. I had a long road to go, I knew that. All glory and honor goes to God. I’m so thankful He reached down, and saved me. I’m so thankful for Christ’s Blood!

 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Revelation 3:19

One of the most frightening and foolish things I ever did, was to begin encouraging the attention of a young muslim man in 9th grade. What was I thinking?? I snuck away to see him one day, skipping school, which was pretty daring. Then he discovered where I lived, and came to see me, asking me to sneak out. This set off a chain reaction in my Dad and Mom that I deeply regret today. They were very afraid for my safety, and concerned they couldn’t watch over me anyore. They sent me away, though I know they didn’t want to. I had to go live with my father. My father told me how upset they were, that they couldn’t trust me. It was a painful, sudden, and emotional break with Dad and Mom.

“And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.” Matthew 23:9 

It was time for God to get serious with me. I entered a world of pain, as I moved into my father’s home. He was in the middle of his second divorce. He was living with his girlfriend who had 2 children,and was divorced from her first husband. My father had 1 troubled daughter who came and went, from the second marriage. And now he had us, me and my brother, from the first marriage. My father’s kidneys were failing. He owned his own electronics repair shop, and it took all his time. The stress was HIGH in that house!

 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.” Romans 1 :16

My father and I never saw eye to eye. To deal with my own stress (new school, new family), I would carry Mom’s Bible everywhere. She’d given that beautiful Bible full of rainbow underlines to me when I moved. I took it to the stream nearby to sit with the Lord in peace, and read. My father teased me. That didn’t matter too  much. What did matter were the mind games he played-saying I could see friends, then he would tell the family to ignore me because I didn’t choose to spend time with them. He told me I had to get a job, and start thinking about supporting myself. I had till 19. And if I wanted spending money in the meantime, I had to get a job. The divorce was so expensive for him. I felt sorry for him because his second wife was as abusive to him as he was to my birth mother.

In 11th grade got a job as a nurse aid because I was going high school and taking nursing classes through a work/school option. I would have to work nights in the summer, and if the nursing switch took too long, I would get home after 8:30 in the morning. If that happened, the door would be locked, because they’d left for work. I had to wait till my step mom could come unlock for me. Things like that kept me emotionally distant from my father.

I went to a little Nazarene church on my own. Before I learned to drive, my father or step mother would drop me off, and come get me after the service.  if I lingered too long, talking to people, they would drive away, and I had to walk 3 miles home. I know I should have been more prompt, I was wrong to ignore his wishes; but I craved the fellowship. It was worth the walk, and I could talk to Jesus a bit before jumping back into the proverbial fray.

I don’t blame my father, because he had so much self inflicted heartache. Jesus could fix it if he would submit his whole heart to God. One day I got a glimpse of his anger at God.  We were coming home from church,and as he drove, we sat in silence. My father suddenly looked at  me and asked,

“So, what if you die one day, and discover that while you were worshiping Jesus, we were supposed to actually be worshiping the sun?”

I wracked my brain, because my father was a very intelligent debater. I was just this know nothing teenager. I prayed and this is what God gave me to say. “If I worship God with all my heart here, and I die, and find out there was no God, I haven’t lost anything. But if I decide not to worship God, and I die, and discover there is a God, and I didn’t choose to worship him when I could,I’ve lost everything.”

He didn’t reply to that, nor did he need to. God answered his question.

He did tell me that he went to a small local church for help. They turned him away empty. This led to a lot of anger and confusion over the church and hypocrisy. I took it as a lesson for myself. If I call myself a Christian, I need to live it out, and help people in need. Not turn them away.

I only lived with my father and his family until I was 19. He told me I should enroll in college after high school, or get a job, and an apartment. It would be good for me, and as he said, money was tight for him. I was frightened because I didn’t know what to do. I got college info, including student loan information. They had said he would need to pay living expenses for me. So college was out. He said he couldn’t even pay my required $25/wk food stipend.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5

I’d spent many years as a child, dreaming about this joyful reunion with my birth parents who had an interest in my life, and wanted me to be part of theirs. When I moved up there, and that didn’t happen, I was so disappointed. Then it started to occur to me: he rarely visited, maybe 5 times in the 15 years I was with my grandparents. And on those visits he rarely said  much to me, he always came to see Dad. They mentioned often my father needed money. He never sent money down to help with my brother or myself. He never called to talk to me. I was a part of his past that he just wanted to disappear. I suddenly felt lost, and unwanted, and trapped up there at his house. I just wanted to disappear!When I would comfort myself against sorrow, my heart is faint in me. Jeremiah 8:18

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Isaiah 43:2

God showed me my father’s approval or disapproval didn’t confirm or negate my worth to God. God was the one working in my life to save me all this time. He is the Father who never fails. He will never leave me or forsake me.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ” Proverbs 3:5,6

I’m not sure why, but my search for financial independence from my father led to  the Armed Forces. I tried the Air Force, but I didn’t have enough academic credits for them. So, I tried the Army. They wanted me because I would go in as a specialist with my LPN degree.

“Wait upon the LORD, and he will strengthen thy heart. Wait, I say, upon the LORD.” Psalm 27:14

Odd things began happening: I would get ready to go to Basic Training and things would happen to delay my departure. One memorable one was when I was trying to make a hole in a dog’s collar. The knife slipped and I cut my finger deeply. I had to get stitches! And it delayed me for 10 days. Today I know that the Lord was lining things up so I could meet the love of my life, and His purpose for me.

“Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in Heaven.” Colossians 4:1

Basic Training was a blur! I’d never been so far away from people I knew. And the work was hard! I kept a little Gideon Bible in my pocket all the time, and it went under my pillow when we finally got to sleep at night. Because I was a specialist, not a private like most of the women, I was thrown into a leadership role. I had to lead the cadence, the march, and make sure my platoon was doing everything they were supposed to. I was a quiet person, and it was a disaster. I lost my voice screaming cadence for marches on a few occasions. And in the barracks, there were so many women causing trouble, difficult to persuade, childish. I lost my patience. I definitely couldn’t cut it as a platoon leader, and the Drills quickly demoted me-first to squad leader, then they finally, mercifully relieved me of all leadership. I learned that making connections with people, building relationships through mercy, and compassion were key to reaching those ladies. though that made me better in my leadership role as a mom years later.

Because of my training as a nurse, I could go right to permanent party-to the hospital where my actual work would begin.  I had just prayed to the Lord that I really wanted to give Him every part of my life. And suddenly a mutual friend asked me if I wanted to meet someone I just had to meet, named Rob Crawford! And here my own story ended, and our story began.

“I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.

 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.

 The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.

 In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears…He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters.

 He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me.

They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the Lord was my stay.

 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me…” Psalm 18

 

I can truly say, that while life hasn’t been easy, God has  in His mercy shown me He has always been there, since the beginning of my life, before I could ask or think, He was there, helping me. When I was caught up in myself, He was there, calling me. When I was learning to love Him, He was there, Present and enveloping, and as close as I let Him be. And today I rejoice because I am free. He has all of me, and I am His. I love You so much, I cannot express it! And I cannot wait to see Your Face, one day, when my race ends, O Lord Jesus my life!

My Testimony-Robert

Hebrews 12:1
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

My race started when I was 12 years old, I was very excited to begin the race set before me and I began reading through the bible chronologically in a year. But as with all races I began to slow down and lost interest in completing my reading, I hit a period where I was going to church on Sunday and taking notes on the sermon but when Monday hit then God would be set aside.

When I was 13 our the Lord called our family to North Dakota, away from all friends and family to spend some time with him. That was hard for me because the Lord asked me to choose to continue to run the race or to stop and walk away.
Revelation 3:16
So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

But the answer did not come easy, I rebelled against the question because why could I not worship God on Sundays and that be enough? I had already excepted salvation so I was “good” with God. Or was I?

I tried to run from the question and ignore it but it did not go away. Jesus kept asking “choose you this day whom you will serve”. and one day I could not take it any longer. By the testimony of a man named Keith Green and a song the Lord gave him named “Your love broke through”, the message of the song was of a man trying to do things in his own power but they kept failing, until the love of God broke through. That same love brought me to my knees and broke me.

I was tired of running and avoiding the question, the answer had to be given. My answer was simple, “I surrender”, that was it, at the age of 15 I opened my heart to God and Jesus lifted me up and filled me with his light. The burden of life no longer existed, I felt free and happy in the presence of God. But the battle did not end there, I started to run the race again but this time the Lord had been working in the lives of my parents as well and the Lord used them to encourage me to keep going when I got tired. So I dug into God’s word and over the course of the next 3 years I read through the bible 3 times, and I am on my 4th. But I didn’t just read the Bible like a regular book, I claimed the promise of God and prayed that the Holy Spirit would teach me the truth.

1 John 2:27

But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

That is just the beginning of my race!

After surrendering to God he asked me what I wanted to do for him and my answer was this “Please allow me to praise you with music and voice” and Jesus answered and said “are you willing to put the work in?” and I said “Yes”. That was the beginning of an amazing journey I am still on.

It all started when in North Dakota we went to a Goodwill and found a Yamaha keyboard, originally for my older Sister but she did not end up playing it. I was interested and did one lesson from the book that taught me how to play “O when the saints”. Then in the blink of an eye the Lord called us down to take care of my Grandpa on dad’s side. He was suffering with lung cancer and needed us, so we dropped everything and went and helped him. That time was amazing! we were able to fill his life with the light of Christ and show him God’s love. After living there with him a short time he ended up needing to be hospitalized so my Dad and I went to the hospital every day and I sat by his bed and held his hand. He was barely conscious most of the time, but we were still praying because he had not excepted the atonement of Jesus yet. Then one day as I sat by his bed holding his hand he opened his eyes and gripping my hand said “Son, let’s take one last walk together” which was strange to me because we never took walks together. So I said “Ok Grandpa, where do you want to go?” he replied “here is fine” then I asked him “Grandpa, Do you want to go to heaven when you die?” he said “Of course son!” and so I said ” Grandpa, I have a sure fire way for you to get there, you must repent of your sins and except his salvation. Do you want that?” and he answered “Yes” so I led him in the sinners prayer! and after that my Grandpa never regained consciousness but he was so peaceful I knew he was in Jesus arms. He went home to heaven a couple weeks after that.

That time was very difficult for me, to watch my Grandpa slowly slip away took all the strength I had and I needed something to strengthen me. But God is good and he had provided a piano in my grandpa’s house where we stayed and so I sat down and Jesus put his hands over mine and said “Play!” so I did and with just the 1 lesson I had studied I started to play and sing Hymns to him. I filled my soul with the praise of God and he strengthened me!

The Lord then moved us down to Ohio again and I continued to grow in the praise of him, It has taken 3-4 hours per day over the last 3 years of hard study to be where the Lord wants me to be and I still continue to grow. He has allowed me to praise him with the Piano, Guitar, Harmonica and Voice, I never take it for granted and in every breath that I take I Praise God!
Psalm 104:33
I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.

Robert Crawford

My Testimony-Rachel

by Rachel

 

I was 12 when we moved to North Dakota. It was hard for me. We were moving 1,200 miles away from friends and grandparents. I really struggled with not having friends, but God showed me through my parents that my contentment didn’t come just from friendships. I didn’t need that to be happy. God showed me that while friends may come and go, He is the One Friend that will never leave.

I got saved when I was 13. I didn’t know what it meant to be saved. I thought it was a “ticket word” that you said to get into Heaven. When I was 9-13, I would lie awake at night and be scared that I was going to die. I’m not sure why, but it was a real fear of mine. I would fall asleep holding my Bible because holding the Bible gave me relief from the fear.

In the two years leading up to my Baptism, God gave me a better understanding of salvation and one of the things He showed me was how important the Name of Jesus is.  

“He that believeth on Him is not condemned; but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the Name of the only begotten Son of God.” John 3:18 

To be called a Christian is to carry the name of Jesus, and carrying the Name of Jesus is a privilege. It is not something I take lightly.

After being baptized,  God has continued to teach me and something that is big in my life is the importance of praise. No matter what kind of day I’m having,I can always go to God and give Him my problems. 

“I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.” Psalm 104:33

Jesus is my life and I love Him more than “tongue or pen can tell”! Because of that love, I seek to carry the Name of the Most High, and honor and glorify His Name in all I say and do.

God has shown me how important praise and worship of Him is. I want to praise the Lord because of all He is doing for me.

“Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised, in the city of our God, in the mountain of His Holiness!” Psalm 48:1.

Why We Sing

In the Word a new believer is left with an initial impression of gratitude. There is a wonderment of joy and the realization one is no longer bound to that dead life they left behind. As one grows in the Lord and attempts to mature and gain wisdom that wonderment fades. Often replaced by a growing emptiness they turn to the gathering of study or endless activities to fill it. Sometimes there is a full retreat from all of that and a desire to recapture that first love that is so important.

 

This is where we found ourselves in 2011. Our home life was suffering from a prolonged job situation that had disrupted the headship structure God desires with long hours and days of time away from home. Our personal relationship with Jesus was absent the power of the Holy Spirit. We were in need of a change that we correct our course.

 

We ended up 1200 miles away in an unknown area full of strangers to purchase previous life. The job situation was tough in that it was dramatically different but I was home every night. Our personal lives were challenged by many new experiences. We started to adjust and slide back into the same rut we always seemed to find. Life got more comfortable and the desire slipped farther out of reach. Then a series of events changed our family course.

 

A house fire is not something I would wish on anyone. In our case it wasn’t as devastating as some but traumatic none the less. Through this event some relationships were exposed. I was brought to remembrance what I had said in front of God of what I would do if given the chance to be home and we faced a decision. Our choice was get our family together each night and learn about God through His Word by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

As we started gathering as a family and exploring God’s Word we got an immediate teaching from the Spirit regarding God’s viewpoint on one’s allegiance to Him. Through this teaching we walked away from some man made traditions with supposed Christian connection. In the spring of 2012 we were challenged again by the Spirit to read through the Word in ninety days. We were able to accept and also started using a chronological reading plan at the same time.

 

In this state we were really tender and open to God’s Will. We began to look around us with different eyes. We watched a documentary on someone who used God’s teaching of Psalms, Hymns and Spiritual Songs to reach out to other believers. We began to look into why and how God said to Praise Him. We started encorporating the fundamental basis of the feasts and there current relevancy into our lives. More importantly we renounced the pagan based worldly feast days that are not of God.

 

After a few more events over the next year and a half to include the premature birth of our tenth child and the death of one of our parents we were ready for the next chapter. We packed everything up and moved back to Ohio. The Lord began to bring back past musical experiences and singing the scripture became a focus. We found a common Spiritual thread running through our Worship and it was the Praise of God through song.